..: A little place called heaven :..

Third kind act

2009-08-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

I was standing outside the Raffles City traffic light when the flashing green man turns red.

I stood there staring blanking into space when suddenly it started to drizzle. I raise out my palms while acting oblivious to the surrounding pedestrains who skelter to the nearest shelter.

Suddenly, I felt someone's presence next to me. With an umbrella above my head, this lady smiled and pointed into the direction that she could shelter me to.

I was thankful.

This was the third kind act that I experience from a total stranger within a week.

I ponder to myself if I would do the same if I were in her shoes.

So ashame of myself.

my mid-life crisis?

2008-09-14T10:29:00.000-07:00

I breaking news hit me hard on Friday afternoon. I was so taken aback by it that i couldn't concentrate on my work for the rest of the day. It was the serious problem that my company is facing - financial crisis. And because of that, 3 of my colleagues are being retrenched and 2 others voluntarily retire. It's the second quarter now that my department is retrenching staff to cut cost. This is really a major blow to me as I am quite close to two of these colleagues. I really regretted that earlier in the day I didn't really talk to them eventhough I had the chance too, I am always immersing myself in my own work or my own activities that I totally forgot that I should pause awhile to communicate with others....sigh....

It's too late now... And I myself may face the probably of being retrenched next year. WTH. Like I am facing some mid-life crisis....*ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* I feel like a pig in the sty waiting to be slaughtered...Rather than waiting to be slaughtered I guess I will prepared myself if such circumtances were to occur.

* super demoralised now. I hate working!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

My boss told me that no one is indispensable. I disagree. One can be indispensable, if we make it to be.

qoute by Upton Sinclair: "It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it."

Bye bye

2008-05-22T09:26:00.000-07:00

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters,
brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause
we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me alive
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown full things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face

[ Chorus ]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm bragging right next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(Bye Bye [ 3x ] ) Bye bye

And you never got the chance to
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/LueX ]
see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to
me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

[ Chorus ]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the world to see your face
And I'm bragging right next to you (?)
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

(bye bye bye bye bye bye [ 3x ] ) Bye bye

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters,
brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmother
Lift your head to the sky 'cause
we will never say bye

[ Chorus ]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the world to see your face
And I'm bragging right next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

I need the courage...

2008-05-03T11:19:00.000-07:00

I am all along very weak in expressing my stand, as even if I even get to express it, I will still eventually not get what I want. I am so weak and easily manipulated that my colleagues and bosses thinks the same way. But that's me - I am soft, I am weak, I get bullied. Even if a stranger comes up to me and give me a tight slap, I will just cry and walk off. No one will stand up for me, no one will be there for me. But I don't need anyone, I need to be independent.

I have placed myself in such a miserable state that I think I really need to wake up. Slap myself into reality and let myself know that I have done nothing wrong but yet why am I the one giving in? I have found my answer and I need to release myself so that I will not be stuck in such a situation anymore. I need to be strong, I need to stand up on my feet again.

Merry Xmas...

2007-12-25T09:37:00.000-08:00

Haven't been blogging for sometime and for some reason, I have lost the drive to blog. For this xmas season of jolly and joy, I have received a considerable amount of presents and also spent a cosiderable amount on presents. But yet on this special ocassion I would only wish for either one of these gifts below:

1) Time Machine

2) Memory Eraser Machine

many bad occurances fell upon me and for some reasons or another I would want to either turn back time and changed what it's destinated to happen or to just erase unwanted memoried out of my head. Sometimes it's just tough to go against your heart and do what your mind tells you to, I am always letting my emotions run over me but yet I have no control over it. Everything just fall upon me like no reason. I blame no one else but myself. My retribution, my ill-fated life and wrong doings that I have done in whatever ways.

I went pp to do my nails today and I was so touched by the manicurist as she understands how I feel. A total stranger learnt of my feelings with just a few sentences of conversation. If a stranger can actually feel for me, why can't others who are closer to me do so?

I always thought that life will be a smooth path down for me but that seems to not be the case, the path seems to be curvy, whiny with lotsa unwanted barriers. I hope I can overcome all these by myself and bring my topsy turvy life to a stop...

Wishing everyone a Merry merry Christmas...=)

let's run...

2007-11-13T09:17:00.000-08:00

I watched hammy run just now and as she runs, her right hind leg was lifted up leaving her weight on her other three legs. She tried running eventhough her left hind leg was not strong enough to support her. As she limped forward with all her weight on her front legs, she tried running again but yet she fell. She pushed herself harder and harder to stand on her feet each time she fell.She seems like she's telling herself: I fall but yet I can stand up myself. I fall but yet I do not give up.I fall but yet I tell myself that I will try again and again. Though physically she couldn't continue on her run, her mental ability made her move on and on....

She is really a impressive little one...

gain and loss...

2007-11-11T02:12:00.000-08:00

It's been a pretty short weekend, short enough that time always seems to fly when you are enjoying that moment. Nevertheless, I gotta snap back to reality and face work tomorrow morning.Just a quick update of my life...I started on a new job already, yy thought that I was kinda fast in switching my jobs and people may think that I am just hopping from one to another but that's not the case! My job at company A was just a temp job that was suppose to last for one month and as said by the agent that if I happen to perform well enough, there's a high chance for conversion to perm. But my chances soon fell when I was paired to work with this girl, who coincidently sat near me during the first day of induction. My first impression of her was that she looked full of drive and when I started talking to her then I soon realised her strong interpersonal skills had won me over. She's a girl who learns fast and works fast. And being on par with a girl like her, it makes you want to work faster and complete task at a speed that you may not want to work at. I admire her work attitude and soon I find myself trying to compete with her in terms of work speed...

Perhaps because of this and her constant keeness in clearing any doubts that she may faced in her job, she won over our boss willingness to hired her within a week. I was partly happy for her and partly sad for myself when I heard that the bosses wanted to interview her but yet not me. I don't see myself standing lower than her in terms of work progress but what I gotta admit is her eagerness to work has won me all over. In additional, I soon come to realise that nothing seems to be in line for me and I don't see any future for myself there. If I can't even get a proper interview with the bosses, why should I still stay? I grabbed onto another job opportunity that came by and I think I made the right decision.

Everything else in company B wins over company A - in terms of working hours, pay wise, working environment etc...the only thing that I find myself missing which company B lacks is the fun-loving bunch of colleagues there. Life was happier with this bunch of people and I really miss them..sigh. Why can't everything be perfect?Why do I have to gain something and yet lose another? That's really sad....

Will update on my Genting trip soon! I was really glad that I am able to spend quality time with my parents, it was worth the trip there eventhough we didn't gamble...haha

Good night world!

problematic nature...

2007-11-04T03:16:00.000-08:00

feeling so down now even after I had such an enjoyable shopping trip...

even after enduring such office politics, long hours at work, non-appreciation of your work from bosses I still have to endure other things...

I feel sad that least effort is shown from the other party and I feel down that the other party thinks that you are finding fault with him/her...

isn't clubbing a place where everyone hangs out?Why do I have to seek others' opinion or approval when I want to club?I mean I also want to meet up with friends whom I haven't seen for sometime =( I am not a girl who don't pay for her own drinks or her own cover charge; I am even willing to pay for my friends' drinks as long as I know they are happy...

I know that it's important to think of others but what you feel about other's minding the presence of other people is maybe just your own one sided thinking?

And isit friends made from strangers?

I am heading to genting later on and I have got a bad feeling I will be unwell there as I am starting to have a sore thoat again and my green phlemge is still on going....sigh....

why I go malaysia always end up sick? I kinda dislike going there already =(

with the lack of sleep, bad sore throat, red eyes and a run-down mood...I seriously don't know how am I going to enjoy my trip...

wish me a safe trip okie? =)

Happy Sunday!

2007-10-21T11:13:00.000-07:00

Hohoho!The weekends are here again but yet it's over in the blink of an eye - super sad =( tomorrow gotta work again hai....I guess I should stop complaining and just do my best in this temp job for the remaining 3 weeks to come =) yes! I will do just that...

Weekends was super fulfilling, excluding the time needed to return to work on Sat...

I was able to spend some quality time with Ben on Saturday night while Sunday was even more fulfilling:

- 12 hrs of quality rest and recuperation
- family lunch at Outram
- visit to granny place - I am so glad that she felt much better after her op =)
- purchase of new hp + new tiny flask for work - all bought by dear mum =)
- saw dear gren at parkway =)
- pizza at home
- asos mega sale spree online!

short update before I end my happy sunday...

pics of my new hp:

Bye bye weekends and welcome monday blues....

i am tired...

2007-10-18T09:09:00.000-07:00

I haven't been so tired for such a long time, so tired that ..it's like once I lie on my pillow, count to 5...I will knock out. Just had a drink with some friends at Pauliner with yummlicious dinner at waraku - food is damn good...

working in a department that works till wee hours is too stressing for me...my life can't just evolves around work, I need my friends, I need my family, I need time for ben and most importantly, time for myself...

I used to work in a government office where once in awhile we will knock off like 10plus...rarely lah..yet in this department that I am working in now, their knock off time is around 10plus to 11pls..maddness! No life...

I kinda dread going to work but yet I don't really seems to have a choice...

Luckily, it's not a contract based job or perm job...if not I will die in it ah!!!

Super drowsy now and thus the super messy entry.

pls pardon me...

I am going to hit the sack along with my flu bug and a swollen feet ...=(

corner with love..

2007-10-09T00:37:00.000-07:00

只要做了決定就要勇敢去面對...

swimming day!

2007-10-08T01:26:00.000-07:00

This is a memorable day which I should record down, a day at one of my favourite places in the world - the pool.

After getting into our swimming attire, we secured our bags inside the lockers, leaving our slippers lying below it. I looked at the way the slippers are placed and my mind eventually slipped into nearly 10 years ago where I lost my slippers.

It was a usual swimming lesson but as usual I was late, so I frantically jumped into the pool to join the other kids while leaving my favourite slippers lying near the pool. After the lesson, when I realised that my slippers wasn't at the place where I last saw, I hurriedly got to my instructor, hoping that he can help me in any way. I remembered clearly that he laughed at me for losing my slippers and couldn't give me help in any way. Without any slippers, I walked home slowly, weeping, crossing roads that seems busier, walking on concrete ground that felt much colder. Though it was only a 15 minutes walk home, it was one of the worst and longest walk of my life.

Bad memories.

Anyway, away with the bad memories, here comes the good ones: We started off competing in the speed of our swim and later spent most of our time at the jacuzzi. Chatting, letting the natural gush of water run down our backs, relieving the pain on my shoulders that I always have. There was this pool with man-made waves and that was where I started tugging and pulling ben to accompany me to play with the water slide. After my repeated pulling and tugging, his glasses slipped out of his fingers and was gushed out by the waves. We both tried searching high and low for it, using the only pair of goggles we got. Many a times, while swimming against the waves, I swallowed mouthfuls of the pool's water and I felt super uncomfortable after that. Luciky, when they turned off the waves generator, we finally retrieved the glasses from the non-choppy waters =) But the sad thing was, I wasn't in time to play with the water slide.Sigh.Super sad.

But saddness was soon over cause...

Ben bought me a hot cup of milo after we both had our shower =)

He said that I mentioned before, I always wanted a cup of hot milo after a swim =)

Super sweet =)

But I mentioned I wanted fishballs too.

Where are they, my dear?

=p

minor editing of blog

2007-09-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

Done some editing to my blog and added some pictures taken when we were in Hk, really missed those days when we were there....hai...

Scroll down!

Will upload somemore when photobucket is up in running speed again.

wake up, wake up...

2007-09-24T14:24:00.000-07:00

Finally, after so long, I have done up the updates in my resume. It's really in much order now with the needed details all in it. I know, I know, I am taking way too long to complete it but as you see, it feels as though I have just woken up from some "dream", woken up into reality. The reality of a realistic society with the need of getting a proper job and placing what I have learnt these past 22 years into real life situations.

Argh.

Why am I still holding on to that resentful feeling?

I truely wish that I am like my cousin, who is able to move forward, towards his goal in the entertainment industry. From a current host to his future DJ posts, I am sure he will excel. He told me that he wants to open an entertainment company next time, though words are easier said than done, I have already felt the passion he has for his job and I am sure not long after, he will become very successful.

I really envy someone like that - for having the goal in life and working towards it.

Yet, I don't have that and I feel that I am still groping in the dark without any directions.

To add on to my agony, what I look towards is more on the monetary benefits than the job satisfaction.

*shakeshead*

Sometimes, I really hate myself.

Watched this movie "Eternal Sunshine" recently and it's another great movie, you should go rent the dvd and watch! It's really nice and interesting!

Some interesting quotes from the movie:

Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders ~ Bartlett's.

How happy is the blameless vessle's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

the hard way...

2007-09-11T23:28:00.000-07:00

When I was young, I hate reading storybooks, even if you shove a book in my face and force me to read, I will not be obliged to do so. I always vividly remembers my primary school classmate who sits next to me in class, always engrossed in a book when we teacher isn't around. He has got a weird bad habit - he loves bitting his nails, so on one hand he reads his books, on the other hand he bits his finger nails till it ends up super short!

I guess all these readings hasn't gone down the drain, as it has proven that such reading will do good to writing skills and good interpretation in the english language.

If only my mum did bribe me in the past with big big lolipops or big fat ang baos for me to read finish one book or if I did well in my english test then perhaps I will be better off now? haha

I guess not ba...

I found out something that works better:

If my neighbour comes over to my place and praise her daughter getting 100 marks in her spelling test while pulling me down by comparing that I fail my test - I guess that would be a better way to get me back to my books.

It's always the hard way of getting to things as I will feel more motivated when being criticise and more 'encouraged' when others pinpoint on my weaknesses.

Although that feeling sucks alot, it seems to be the best option...

painting a picture of bliss

2007-09-04T03:07:00.000-07:00

I saw a girl in the mirror with distant thoughts, looking blankly into her mirror, she thought to herself how vague the future seems to be. Unsure of what to be done, she could only pray for what she wants. As she grew deeper and deeper in thoughts, she started to paint a picture of bliss with a smile. Her friend said that life is never a bed of roses but yet she was always hopeful that it maybe one.

Like a toddler learning to walk, like a girl who fell and is learning to get up on her feet herself, she remains independent and is willing to embrace herself with any opprotunities that may come by.

Though with her low-morale and low self esteem as a stumbling rock, the road ahead seems to be a much tougher path to tread. But with courage and determination, nothing should bring her down.

Very meaning and encouraging quotes that I learnt from both movies which I have watched recently:

Chef Gusteau's famous motto: Anyone can cook. But I realize that only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere.

If you're focused on what you've left behind, you will not be able to see what lies ahead.

Remy:No. Dad, I don't believe it. You're telling me that the future is - can only be - more of this?

Django: This is the way things are; you can't change nature.

Remy: Change is nature, Dad. The part that we can influence. And it starts when we decide.

Django:Where are you going?

Remy: With luck, forward.

Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

Congratulations my friends! =)

Updates - All in one

2007-09-03T00:22:00.000-07:00

Was craving for a drink badly just now and thus I made myself a drink by tossing some icy cold vodka with origina(only soft drink that I have), the drink turned out quite nice but with minimal alcohol taste. I think it lacks a dice of lemon....

I went out with ptl the other day and although the time spent was short, I was really happy. It's always nice to hang out with your friends, have brunch, talk casually, do some random shopping and walk and smile as if all troubles are away. I ended up with a heavier pocket at the end of the day as I bought two working tops, I haven't start working and yet I have been spending on credit. Sigh. Really not a right thing to do but it's always like heart over mind thing(plus with ptl's encouragement haha)...

Was out to fix the batt of my watch and also the camera the other day when I came across really poor customer service at the service centre. This guy got his batt of his watch fixed the other day but yet came back few days later to find that his watch is not working again. The technician realised that actually there are some parts in his watch that needs to be changed but the shipment of the mechanical parts needs 1 to 2 months! The guy added that it was long and he couldn't wait and added that in the first place when he changed the batt, the technician should have checked for him. A form of commotion goes on and the techincian eventually gave in and said that he can change the parts for him immediately.

.........

That means in the first place he was lying about the 1-2months waiting time for the shipment to be in?

..........

Sometimes I really don't understand the service industry where the waiting time could be as short as half an hour and yet they will tell you things like you have to wait for how many months and such. I mean in the first place we should be sure about things and don't let others wait for nothing.

Easier said than done, I know, but I am sure there's still some room for improvement. Isn't it?

Watched Evan Almighty the other day and did some catching up with some friends .I totally dig the movie!It's really hilarious and I couldn't stop laughing throughout, I guess I am easily made happy with simple-light-minded jokes and humor =)

I want to watch RA-TA-2-E too!

Another big kid like me who wants to join in the family fun! And most importantly, Remy reminds me of our little Hamy!haha

Some weird looking machines invaded my house yesterday:

Some fitness inverter machine that is suppose to help to:

-Reduce back pain
-Relieve stress
-Stimulate circulation and lymph flow
-Improve posture
-Reduce muscle tension
-Strength ligaments
-Increase flexibility and range of movement
-Reduce the effects of aging caused by gravity

Seems like quite a useful machine from the above advantages but I just hope that it will last and we will make full use of it, and not to end up like the threadmill which is collecting dust now.

A messy-clump-up entry but it's easier to update everything briefly at one shot.=p

Happy Birthday Aunty!Hope that you will always stay healthy and pretty always!*grins*

Also, wishing all my friends luck in the release of the results! Something that I have been avoiding, the fear in me that has been accumulating due to this. Sigh.

What eventually comes will come....*cross fingers that everything will turn out fine, I hope*

Little updates...

2007-08-18T03:21:00.000-07:00

Lacking of updates on my blog here but actually nothing much did happen this past two weeks, just that I got a bad eye infection which got my eyes so red and teary. This is the second time it happened and this time it got worse, any inches of light was hurtful to my eyes and I feel that I instanteously became blind. Ben bought me to NUH for checkup and the doctor diagnose it as an eye infection due to my contact lenses. I can't wear my contacts for 1 month! That's one of the worst thing that can happen to me - for a person who looks terrible in glasses, but for the sake of my eyes, I got to endure...

The wait at NUH is terrible, all in all it took nearly 3 hours to get everything done and the consultation fee was much more than seeing a sepcialist in a private clinic...Luckily, I had Ben's company, if not I will die of boredom just by sitting there. Ben sorta missed his friend's gathering just to accompany, so sorry! =(

I have been making frequent trips to the supermarket recently as I have been too free at home so I decided to learn some baking. It's really nt easy..there are like 101 different types of recipes online and on recipe books and I really don't know which recipe to follow. I started out learning how to make muffins with ptl and then I tried Tiramisu at home myself and I am happy to say that it turned out quite well eventhough I knew I added the wrong amount of sugar and it became too sweet!It was too creamy as well thus the next time round I gotta make everything turn out right! But learning how to cook and bake has got me to realise that the supermarket sells many things that I have yet to go discover - from different types of cheese to flour to milk to spices. Usually trips to the supermarkets will be just getting the necessities, snacks etc and I don't really go find out on what other products they are selling. To my surprise I realise that there are so many different types of cheeses that makes it very difficult to differentiate which to which and which type suits this or that dish....*headache*

But, I will try my best to learn as much as I can. *beams*

Trip to the zoo!

2007-08-16T14:37:00.000-07:00

Pictures Galore!

Finally after so long, we made it to the Zoo and Night Safari! =)

Just before my memory fails me, I decided that I should update briefly on the zoo trip!
After much persuasion from me, we finally made it to the zoo! Yeah! I wonder since when I last stepped into this place, a place that brings children joy, a place where mammals thrived. I long wanted to come here again but there doesn't seems to be time made for it. I always thought that zoo is not a place for animals, I always thought that animals should live freely but I changed my thinking after this visit. Sometimes, isn't it better if the animals are kept under care and protection? Though the zoo cannot be comapred to the vast and free land that they came from but at least they are well protected here, away from there predators - which I generally feel that humans are the animals biggest threat.Chinese myths of certain parts of the animals that cures illness; using the skin of the animals to maufacture that branded bags that's in it's lastest trend; Meat to tempt the weak human nature and the worst root cause still boils down to the monetary value of these mammals. Sigh.

This little girl was so cute, she kept banging on the glass trying to catch up with Mr hippo! The Bamboos monkeys with pink little butts! The airless pads of skin which are present to provide for the sitting comfort of the baboon! I thought the bamboos seems very uncomfortable with their swollen pink butts when actually they are meant for sitting? haha
This squirral like or rather I guess it was a Badger was running out from the backstage and came forward to teach everyone how to reuse, reduce and recycle. It kept flipping the cans and pretending to throw it into the correct recycle bin haha super cute!

The performance was packed which made up mostly tourist from all over the world like Japan, S Korea, China, Germany, USA, Africa, Middle East and as far as even Iceland!

Enjoyed the perfomance alot which consist of: Animals running on the stage, lepoard leaping from tree rock in order to savour fresh meat, owls flying from headabove - they flew so silently that I couldn't even hear the flap of their wings, a big commotion of a lost animal where they actually had hidden it under the spectators seats before the start of the show!

I wonder why Ben chose to wore stripes top that day? To be more compatible with the zebras or rather the Hyena? haha

We walked through this trail where this little monkey was hopping from branch to branch, practically right above our heads!The little monkeys were curious if we had food with us while on the other hand we were afraid that it might pounce on us!

I wonder why the polar bear is pacing around those rocks(pic on right corner) when he has already been fed? If only the bear could talk then I will know what he wants...

I forced Ben to take pictures with the soft toys while I happily laugh and kept snapping away....haha opps! =p

Plenty of flora and fauna at the zoo to be discovered but we didn't have the time to do so =(

I enjoyed the ride at the Night Safari where we got real close to the animals esp the Taphirs and Deers. The night breeze, the magnificent view, enchanting animals and the company I got was great! Definitely a fulfilling trip! *grins*

I found out that I have very bad night blindness that made my steps unstable and vision blur =(

My favourite animal of all in the zoo? The white tigers!There are the most beautiful tigers that I have ever seen in my entire life! It's really a beauty...

1, 2 , 3,we push the log down! Teamwork can be found even in elephants!

At the end of the day, I dropped my camera and it's not working anymore! Super suay and super sad...hai why must my day end up like that? =(

We are not afraid...

2007-08-03T04:28:00.000-07:00

"Our deepest fear is not that

we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are

powerful beyond measure.

We ask ourselves who am I to be brilliant,

gorgeous, talented and fabulous ?

Actually, who are you not to be ?

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

We were born to make manifest the glory

of God that is within us.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people

permission to do the same".

p.s: I had a very nice dinner today at Sushi Tei, thanks my dear for the amazing dinner =)

At Aerin's

2007-07-31T00:33:00.000-07:00

Amusing and fun-loving bunch of friends! I really love their company! haha

Yippy!Yippy!Yeah!

" Weird Encounter "

2007-07-30T03:36:00.000-07:00

Sometime weird happen to me in the lift today, perhaps others may not consider it weird but this is the first time that I experienced such a situation.

I was in the lift today heading out to fetch my sister and as usual I was looking at myself in the mirror and then I turned to look at the numbers on the board.

Immediately, number 22 lighted up by itself, just right infront of my eyes.

I stared hard at it for awhile and at the next moment the lift doors open, it stopped at the 4th floor.

No one came in.

The 22th floor button light went off when I reached the groundfloor.

Weird. Weird. Weird.

I thought nothing of it as it's in the late afternoon afterall.

It's just kinda unusual to me. haha

Anyway, I learnt something today, I thought to myself why do I keep dwelling on others negative points when I can actually think of their positive ones? It just makes myself worst off by thinking of the former.

Thought of the day: Learn to praise and encourage one another rather than raging up at each another.

p.s: can't wait to meet gren, rain and rest of my friends tmr.

happy, happy, at least for the night. *grins*

Boom Boom

2007-07-29T06:01:00.000-07:00

Finally after so long I have decided on where my future will step foot on.

It's suppose to be a secret not to be leaked out thus I will not reveal here but I should say that it's just a simple plan that needs my own perseverance to achieve. Sad to say I have to forgo others to fulfill what i want to do, but I am sure what I am going to forgo will bring about my fulfillment in life.

And yah, Happy Birthday Liansoon!Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birthday to You!haha We always missed out your birthday so this time round we won't forget! Hope that you like your presents and also the mini gathering that all of us had for you.

And you know what, I hate Saturdays! Saturdays are on my banned list from now on!

Can you imagine the feeling of heading to every balcony of your house trying to catch a glimpse of the fireworks but yet what greets you is just the sound of it?

"Boom" "Boom""Boom""Boom"

Irritating.

Though I know it's impossible to catch it from my place because our house is back facing it, I just head to the balcony whenever I hear boomboom sound.

Stupid me.

I hate Saturdays!Argh!

At Crossroads...

2007-07-21T17:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I really do envy people who are able to venture into jobs that they want and it's of such jobs that makes time for them passed fast and always be happy with what they have. For me, if I get an office job I would most likely be complaining most of the time...though I know that it doesn't do much of a good to me by complaining but it seems that daily forms of stress and fustration needs to be let out.

Though it is always good to make a choice but I feel that sometimes choices chooses us in this real world. It's really important to choose what we want to do next time and not working just for the sake of money. I remember I use to ask this uncle why would he be so willing to stay in the filing room all day when he can very well settle with a higer paying job. He told me that this job makes him happy, his working colleagues makes him happy, he had better jobs before this which he found himself dragging himself to work every single day and soon after he quited his job.

Like many others, I am dreaming to travel, dreaming to do things that I like first before I start in anything else.

Just think about it, I feel that I just want to shrink responsibilities and be lazy.

p.s.will update on my hk trip soon...=)

Come what may...

2007-07-14T17:05:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been in a very ' wu nai ' situation that has brought me into deep thoughts. Then I thought to myself that perhaps things were not as bad as I thought but my actions and wrong perception aggravate the situation - in the end making matters worst. Never ever did I thought that I have become such a nag that brings about a pain in the neck for others. But as everything happens for a reason, I did it as the feelings inside me seems to have overwhlemed. I am sorry if I have done it overboard.

It definitely feels better when you are able to voice out how you feel and eventually lifting that heavy rock in you. Though we still have conflicting views and till now I can still never understand how the other party feels in such situations but I hope to realise it oneday.You are right in saying that people will definitely mind the presence of others, but I find it hard to understand how they can actually feel this way. sighz...

Perhaps I should just consider other's feelings and try not to hope that they will consider ours as the more you hope for, the more you will regret.

I just hope for the best ba! That's what I can do now!

Come what may!

2007-07-10T03:41:00.000-07:00

Finally I am back home from my trip! Had an enjoyable trip overall! Yeah!

Thanks to my friends who had look out for me during the whole trip, without them, the 'blur' would have got into some form of trouble...haha

Time to really settle down and look for a job already.

I wonder what type of job suits me?

I have all along wanted a job that allows me to travel and work in a far far away place.

Where I can expose myself to the world's lifestyles, cultures and even the least smallest thing that brings about excitment in me.

Going away and leaving everything I can behind.

Some form of imagination?

I don't know...

Let me have a good rest first before I venture out into the working life ba...

forlorn to be ?

2007-06-25T15:23:00.000-07:00

sometimes I really can't stand how they react when it comes to a point where their help is needed.

Shrinking responsibilities and not willing to face the problem together.

Or rather,

they chose an easier way out by pushing their responsibilities to others.

It's sad to know how your own kin do things that hurt you - weakening your relationship and leaving you feeling that there's actually no kinship for you in this world.

On one hand you feel very disgusted by what they have done, on the other something just pierce through you that made you feel the immediate pain.

Is money the only solution in this world?

If this is the root of all evil, why can't we just live without it?

Easier said than done, it's indeed despairing to know that what you wish for may not be what you get.

I just hope for a better way which the situation can be turned into.

Menotti

2007-06-20T12:38:00.000-07:00

Just met my girlie pals for dinner just now at Menotti, an Italian resturant that serves superb pasta and other Italian cruisine. The best things is their affordable and mouth watering desserts makes me crave for more...I had this simple mushroom and bacon cream pasta while Gren and Rain ate set dinners. From the appetizers to main course to desserts to coffee, every single serving seems to be served with perfection. I especially love their spinach soup, super tasty and I never knew that such vegetable soup tasted so good. It makes me want to learn to make all kinds of delicious western soups...hmmm must be because I don't like instant soups that's why when I am able to slurp on such gd home-made soup, I feel that it makes the meal complete! Sad to say, we didn't have a chance to take pictures of our food cuz we were just too hungry! haha

It's good that I am able to do some catching up with the girls though Gren gotta leave for a conference meeting, I am still glad that we had dinner together. *all smiles* Real sorry to Suling for the JC gathering at boat quay as I sort of last minute tell her that we couldn't go =( Partly we weren't interested in drinking and partly I am really very very broke!Sorry! One of the worst years I have had with days of empty pockets, sighz...cuz I am paying for the trip to HK myself and that's why I am so broke!hai...And now, I am spending on my HK money that makes me pretty worried whether I will have enough for my trip...keke Anyway what can I do, I just gotta try to head out less and dine in more often - which is also pretty difficult la...*headache*

Anyways, there's a solution to every problem and I just gotta find a solution to it.

Recently, I have been eyeing on this new nokia N series handphone which Rain bought recently - N76. I wonder if my mum will buy it for me cuz it has been nearly 3 years since I changed my handphone. Though my handphone is working perfectly fine but I just feel like changing a new model...

I was telling Rain just now that I don't feel as excited as i do last time whenever I am able to upgrade my price plan and get a new handphone. Then we come to realise that it's because as we get older, we feel that tangible stuffs are less important compared to intangible ones. I totally agree with her because as I aged, I tend to come to an understanding that friends and families are such vital components in life that we can't do without. And as I grow older I soon come to realise what I really want and what I really care about - isit the financial status that i want? Isit the result that I achieve? Isit the position that I hold?

I guess not ba...I would not devote everything for the sake of such financial status.

I would rather hold an average paying job and devote more time for my friends and families than hold a high paying one which not only yields stress but also puts toil to my health.

Though in this realistic world such an ideology will soon be pushed back by the society, I still strongly stand on my beliefs.

Presenting the new N76: Tada!
And you can tell I go for the look of it rather than the fuctions..cuz I just went to search for the imagines only and not the functions of the phone haha

Looks like the motorola razer...doesn't it?

Looks of a handphone matters more to me than its functions...heehee

Is black or red nicer? =)

I am lost...

2007-06-17T05:16:00.000-07:00

5am in the morning now but i can't get to sleep, I usually force myself to sleep in order to stop thinking about things. But even if I am able to get to sleep, I will end up waking up with bad headache, and that's what I am experiencing now...

Getting myself all busy in clearing up my room and doing things that I don't want to do.

Life seems to lost its sense of direction for me now, I am trying to find a focus point in life - hopefully that focus point will be my goal, my motive, something that pushes me forward.

Facing a new cross junction in life, it's difficult not to worry about it.

Weirdly, I prefer the days of my exmainations than now, at least I have something to work towards...

Anyway, I have decided to do something that I have always wanted to do later, I have been procrastinating from it so long and nothing should stop me from doing what I want.

It's swimming!!!Yeah!!! Something that will never let my moods go down..and if you do love swimming like I do, pls pls jio me to swim, I will be more than happy to join you...*grins*

Straightened up

2007-06-11T07:40:00.001-07:00

I got a sudden urge to start working.

Although I have been procrastinating myself from it for so long, I finally realise the need to work.

It's time.

Something happened that totally turned my thoughts into thinking that I need to be independent, need to count on myself and not always leaning or holding on to a support.

Suddenly feel that what i was thinking before the exams was way to childish and juvenile.

I don't look forward to holidays now anymore, but the HK holiday that has been planned will just mark the start of my working life after that.

I just gotta straigthened up my thoughts and turn into the right direction.

emoemoemoemo again...hai....

Angel

2007-06-03T08:58:00.000-07:00

went for Mayday concert yesterday and went to watch the pirates right after the IR paper (got a bad feeling that I will fail this paper like how my watch fail me halfway through the paper) sighz...

been enjoying myself too much that my parents asked: so you finish your exams already?

me: errr....no? ....

I need to run this last lap now without slowing my speed down, without lagging behind everyone, I need that push. Can I do it? I doubt myself but nevertheless I will push myself harder, like someone pushing me from behind and urging me to run faster.

I need the strength! Jiayou ba Jas! Jiayou ba Jas!

I uploaded a new song, such a nice song to indulge in....lalalala...

Exams over?

2007-05-25T22:30:00.000-07:00

After every paper that I had, I will rest super long before I start revision for my next paper. I have been infront of my computer since morning and I have yet to start revision on my next paper. I act like my exams are officially when I am only halfway through...*shrugs*

Why do time passed so fast when I am having fun and yet comes to a crawl when I am studying?

The answer should be my own mentality and my own concept of time.

GSS sale is now on and I am super lemming to go shop though I just went bugis yesterday(haha ya shopping when I am still in the midst of my exams) and they are having 20% storewide sales everywhere!!! I want to shop, I want to buy Topshop stuffs, Dorothy stuffs, Forever21 stuffs, River Island stuffs, Zara stuffs, you name it I want it!!!! Arghh...I am trying hard to surpress my urge to go out now urgh....!!!

But I guess it didn't help cuz I end up surfing online shopping sites, I have been eyeing on some F21 dresses but yet the tight budget that I have now doesn't allow me to spend. It's so unfair! =(

I had a killer paper yesterday - CF, section A totally freaked me out, no CAPM, no CML/SML questions that I was hoping to do and yet options that I totally gave up seems much easier to be done. So it's still true that choosing topics to study is putting myself in a great disadvantage. But I didn't spend much time and effort in studying CF also, just one and a half day used to study for it just shows that I deserve it. And I don't know why I am so prone to making careless mistakes, same for my first two paper that I have done and what's next? Sighz...

Talked alot to ptl yesterday outside Expo and she was so nice, she made me feel better though I am so depress after each paper. Telling me not to worry and letting me know that marks will still be awarded partially even if I made careless mistakes. Or am I just deceiving myself by making myself feel better? Even if doing so is unrealistic, I think I still need it. Thanks ptl, hope see you soon again yah! =)

To hai: aiya don't worry liao lah, mai seo liao la(don't think in teochew). I mean you should just do your best in your next paper, everything will go well de alright...

UNSW news came in as a shock to me, they came in looking all bright with prospects as creating major education hub for us and yet they just made a sudden exit just like that - snaps fingers. Did Prof Fred Hilmer make a wrong decision? One thing that made me puzzled was that they say there wasn't enough students for their intake but yet why are they rejecting so many students in the first place? And why did the decision came in so sudden when actually in the first place they should have done all the necessary research and plans before they even agree to start out UNSW in Singapore. Shouldn't they give this new asia university more time and not just think on how to spend more money on their students? Though I know that I am just a small fly and shouldn't even say all these but I still think that the Prof should reconsider his decision, his answer to his decision makes me feel that he is more of a businessman in kind - maximising returns and minimising risk. hmm....am I wrong to think like that?

anyways, I am eyeing on this sweet top, keen in getting it but it cost nearly USD$30 =( :

Just tired...

2007-05-14T15:29:00.000-07:00

Today's paper was a bad start, I made super lots of careless mistakes and I didn't had the time to complete my question.5 questions in total to be complete within 3 hours but yet I spent nearly an hour on the first question. Throughout the paper I was feeling very tired due to the lack of sleep. After so many times of experiences I still have not learnt my lesson that the lack of sleep will affect my abililty to concentrate throughout the paper.I felt that my head weighed so much and at a point of time during the exam, my mind turned blank. Mathemetical formulas just couldn't be remembered causing me to fail in my questions. Sighz..

No use pondering over it and what done has been done, just hope for the best ba...

Lessons learnt:
- Sufficient sleep is important before a paper
- Last minute cramming theory in head is useless
- Taking breaks at intervals is important
- Failure in my time management will lead to failure in completing my paper in time
- Shouldn't all these lessons been learnt long ago?

My headache is weighing upon me, lips are drys, nose is leaking like a tap. I guess I just need my suffient rest now.

Good luck to all my friends in all their papers =)

p.s.I had a delectable meal with Ben at the airport, he treated me with a good meal at Crystal Jade. I always enjoy his company and I want more quality time to be spent together... =(

Anti- Exams!!!!

changed of lifestyle - Temporary

2007-04-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

I sleep at 12am and wakes up at 8am or 8.30am in the morning quite frequently nowadays.

Suppose to be something good but yet I feel like an "alien" as it's totally not like myself to have this kind of lifestyle.

It's not the exam stress that has caused me to changed and it's defintely not someone who has changed me.

I just find myself weird...

A super cute blush arrive in post today and it's only around 1.5inches in diameter, super pretty too! why can't spore import more affordable japanese cosmetics? =(

Sis's back!

2007-04-21T21:08:00.000-07:00

My sister got home from her Thailand trip on Monday and I was elated! haha You know it's kinda weird when one of your family members isn't around, the atmosphere is totally different! Anyways, was kinda sad when my sister didn't get what I want - shoes, but at the end of the day I felt like I was being rewarded cuz my sis couldn't fit into nearly half of the clothes that she bought and I guess she was feeling rather generous that day that she 'donated' them all to me! Yeah! The clothes are really pretty and it's my sis good judgment plus a little fashion sense that made her choices right!haha Happy!Happy! I got more than a dozen new apparels now plus a necklace and a pair of shoes! All thanks to my sis for her generousity! =)

Yippy!

pleasure on the lips?

2007-04-17T13:59:00.000-07:00

Rain told me this today:

Pleasure on the lips means ten pounds on the hips.

But I would beg to differ....haha

ps: the gun violence at Virginia Tech frightens me, it is a tragedy that shouldn't occur at all....

I am worst than ants

2007-04-14T00:57:00.000-07:00

Why do ants just never give up?

Eventhough when they know that their route has been blocked and badly sprayed with insecticide by me,

They still don't give up!

They try and try, till they finally brave through all odds and got themsleves new routes.

Time by time, the same happens

No matter what I do, they still thrive on.

Finding new ways and means to get what they want in a team.

I am ashamed as the ants work much harder than I.

BUT!

THEY ARE STILL A NUISANCE!

property

2007-04-13T00:55:00.000-07:00

Mum shove this brochure right in my face the other day. It's a brochure that states: " Launch of Casa Merah Apartments" I go : " a...mummy you want me to buy meh?" She went: " I buy for you la..." Ya right! As if! Contemplating on what she's getting at, I soon come to realise that she's willing to pay for the 1% deposit and that leaves me with the 99% loan hanging. Hellloooo....you think I can afford meh?!

Faints.Mothers.

Anyway, we went to view the showroom apartments the other day, I was kinda shocked that at 12am the whole place was crowded! No wonder the property market is at it's peak recently, private housing are so sellable! Many of the units have already been snapped up in a day (eventhough it will only be ready in 2013) - similar to the condo near my place that has recently been launched. You can also vividly see and tell how kaisu Singaporeans are nowsdays when they actually queue for a few days in order to get the unit they want!

Btw what i am doing blogging when I am suppose to be studying?! argh!!! I totally lack of DISCIPLINE when it comes to studies. sucks.

The Dark Side

2007-04-12T01:11:00.000-07:00

Was at kino the other day doing my usual browsing of taiwanese and japanese fashion magazines when I came across this book above. I got curious so I flip through the book. To my astonishment the book was blank!!!! I thought to myself: "how true can this be."

M&Ms chocolates has got a new member! Super tasty and yummy! Slurp! =)

I miss school!

2007-04-08T08:13:00.000-07:00

"Muttons in the morning" was buzzing on my car's radio this morning.

To my surprise, it wasn't another babe taking off her lingerie nor hunk flashing his assets.

I guess this sort of 'theme' attracts listeners much more? Definitely, I should say.

But today's airtime was left to young children taking a free ride (provided by 987) to school

I would have much enjoyed the ride if I was given one last time

Got home and saw my neighbour's children hoping into their dad's car, all ready and set to get to school.

I suddenly so miss the past

I miss school...!!!!!!!

I miss those days that I got so panick that I nearly pee in my pants, as I knew I was going to be late for school.

I have been late for school since-don't-know-when and numerous punishments have already been carried out to punish me for being late for school....

But yet, till today, I still have yet to change.

Shopping BAN!

2007-04-01T02:53:00.000-07:00

Super happy because Metro had 20% off storewide from 10pm to 12pm last Friday, in conjunction with the late night shopping on every last Friday of the month. Went with buddy to get our skincare and cosmetics, as we brush through the crowd and queues, we finally got ourselves what we need. Pretty good bargain I should say and it just makes me yearn for more! Buddy bought Clinique Clarifying Lotion, Clinique Gel Moisturizer, Clinique's Derma White Pressed Powder and Dior Intense Liquid Eyeliner while I got myself the items below:

While I was getting my clinique stuffs, gren witnessed something - an act of theft.This lady was applying on to the Clinique's lipgloss tester and the next moment after she capped back the cover, she readily puts it in her handbag! To our atonishment, they were actually well-dressed young ladies carrying branded handbags! We saw them again at the Anna Sui's counter, we wanted to "spy" on them as if they were to make another move, we will not hesitate to make a report.

Not long after, the ladies kinda knew that we were looking at them and got more conscious of their actions. I will definately report to the security if I witness what the girl did, but too bad i didn't. I really cannot understand why would anyone want to steal a tester? Firstly, it's super unhygenice. Secondly, your guilty conscious will haunt you everytime you use it. Thridly, bad karma will befall upon you. Fourthly, it's a crime to do so.
So why sell?

I am pronouncing an online shopping ban for myself as I have been shopping online too much. I guess it would be a much better choice if I pass my lappy to my mum for confiscation, or better still don't go online at all as I have been really lagging behind in my revision for the finals. Argh!!!

But shopping sprees like F21 ones are just too addictive...so how?!

Let pass.....

2007-03-28T23:06:00.000-07:00

Communication seems to be a very strong form of tool to transmit our feelings, letting the other party knows how we feel and how we perceive certain things.

Sometimes, this do breaks down when our thoughts are not brought forward to the next person properly.

Worst may happen when words may be twisted and misunderstanding may occur.

No matter what misunderstanding there may or have been, I have already come to an understanding of the whole issue.

There's no right or no wrong and I hope that me, who have kinda over reacted to the whole issue, will be absolved.

It's so true that if we spend that extra amount of money, we can actually buy happiness.

I have actually placed pressure on others in order to buy that happiness.

In doing so, aren't I also acting on my own self-interest?

Shouldn't I just place myself in others' shoes and make others happy?

This is the form of happiness that I should pursuit.

My Clinique Loots!

2007-03-27T03:09:00.000-07:00

I have been very into Clinique skincare products recently, brought mum to Tangs the other day and got the above skincare products. Reatil therapy is really a good form of chasing away the unhappines that have got into me recently. I have learnt to give and take and not expect things to always go in my way. Even if things don't go in my way, I must never have a revengeful heart. Just view matter in another perspective and take things lightly.....together with retail therapy, I have been cured instantly!
*grins*

It became heavier...

2007-03-23T09:26:00.000-07:00

Couldn't get to sleep...

I thought the heavy burden that weighed so much in me has been lifted.

But I was wrong.

Things has been made worst after I know of the truth.

It's like someone pushing me back into the deep water after I tried to grasp a breath from the water surface.

The feeling is bad.

I totally cannot imagine how someone can be like that.

Am I wrong to feel this way?

But I suddenly come to realise that perhaps this had happened to me because of the past bad debts that I have incurred.

What goes around comes around.

Call me a emo-sensitive-think-too-much freak.

But I am like that.

Give and take...

2007-03-22T00:29:00.000-07:00

Don't know why, even after I have confronted my feelings, deep inside, I can still taste the tinge bit of sourness.

I even wanted to hold grudges against others that makes me want to slap myself in order to change my way of thinking.

self-interest, self centered - everyone is like that.

Should I put myself in other's shoes or should I stand up for myself?

The former will work better I suppose.

"Give and take...give and take..."

That's what I should do...

moody mouldy mood

2007-03-18T00:06:00.000-07:00

I realise when I am either sleepy or hungry, I will soon start to get very moody.

Tightness in my chest makes me feel so uptight that I tend to clear my vessel by vesting out my anger.

I wonder how I will react when I am very hungry+sleepy.

One thing for sure, temperature in me will definitely shoot high up.

Sorry gren for making you unhappy in the past due to my this moody character - that made you very unhappy every morning when you are all perky and happily awaiting a brand new school day.

Till today, I have not changed and I don't think I will.

It's hard

*moody moody moody mood* =(

Contingency plan?

2007-03-15T02:56:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I really don't understand how insensitive can some people get when the basic considering and thinking for others just vanishes. Bringing upon only one thing - disturbance - just like little innocents kids recking terror at one's vicinity.

I do admit that sometimes when I am being too engrossed in my own space that I actually disregard the well-being of others. I am trying to kick this bad behaviour of mine now and I will change.

Considering the fact that your ill-will actions will bring about disruption to others, I find it hard to surpress my feelings and much harder to surpress the urge to voice everything out, as i know of the harsh consequences that I will face.

It's either a die-to-do plan or a amicable settlement.

For my character, so to speak, I will choose the former for sure.

***I realise I type a way lot of rubbish when i am angry and tired -_-***

I learnt something

2007-03-06T16:22:00.000-08:00

I went to ICA yesterday to collect my biometric passport as my current one is due to expire. I was rather shock when I learnt that there were around 150 people ahead of me in the queue. Turning rather impatient, I was already on my way to the exit when a call from my mum changed everything. She told me to wait patiently in the queue and get everything done since I have long wanted to update my passport since half a year ago. I tuned myself to the cartoons there and chatted with Ben on the phone to pass time. Luckily the queue moves pretty fast but all in all I still waited around 1.5 hours before I got my turn. Got my thumbprint taken into the system and signed some documents before I leave. My new picture on the passport looks terrible! I was thinking why can't they retain my IC no. as my passport number, rather than issuing me a new passport no. ? hmm....

Mock exams are officially over for me this coming monday but I only took one paper last monday as I was working before that. Alot of my friends and esp mum keep asking me why I want to work when I am actually still schooling. Usually i will just turn their questions away and move on to another topic but actually the main reason is not due to the salary that they are offering but more of me as an individual wanting to offer help to them when it's needed.Though work can be busy and tiring but time seems to pass so swiftly when work starts to pile up.

I have learnt something important through my short term working experience recently. My company did not put me through proper training even before I start on the job, they just provided some brief tasks and instructions for me to follow through.

I realised that actually they expect you to know what and how to complete the task that was given.Eventhough I am not taught particularly in this task given, I ought to go find out myself through my own means and get the task done.

Sometimes, it seems more like making myself sillier by saying things like:"I don't know. I am not sure." While giving a firm answer like:"Yes this is it and no this isn't" proves otherwise.

Though I always expect to be spoon-fed(which makes life much easier), I should and must learn to be independent and find out my own solution to the problem. It may seems to be the harder way through, but believe me, at the end of the day, you'll change someone's mindset about you and the task given will be completed sooner than you ever think it will.

My Cousins

2007-02-28T16:02:00.000-08:00

Look how much we have changed over the years? I was around 5-6years of age in the picture below!(youngest cousin not in the pic below cuz he's a 1990s baby,he was yet to be born!) Fond childhood memories with my cousins always flows back into mind and as I indulge in reminiscence, I always come to the point where I feel that I would most gladly want to live in the past if I could.

Finally got a chance to take a picture after so many years, look how much we have grown!

Sometimes I really wish that I could turn back time.

I can't bear to think how it will be like when I am old...

2007-02-27T02:58:00.000-08:00

Just read this article from:

The New Paper
Sad case of S'pore doctor who dumped cleaner mum

Chinese New Year Celebrations is about family reunions and renewals but this Chinese New Year has brought me face to face with the realities of an ageing population. It's not a abstract idea that somewhere out there, people are getting old,our population is ageing. Reality does bites when you see it happens in your own family.

And this topic has been evolving around my family during this Chinese New Year period.

The news report is about a doctor who locked out his widowed mother from his flat.This woman, now 66, worked as a cleaner to put her son through medical school. 'I was the proudest woman in the auditorium that day,' she said of his convocation. Two years ago, she transfered ownership of her flat to him. He threw her out a day later.

Why? Because she wanted to continue working as a cleaner, and his wife did not like it.

My goodness.

A doctor who earns more than $200,000 a year threw his mum out because of his wife?!Did he totally forget how his mum slogged more than half of her lifespan just to see him through medical school? And this is how he repays kindness.

Jerk

Did he spend his years of studies in vain? Obtaining knowledege that lacks of such moral values?! A doctor who has so much in knowledge up there but yet owns an empty heart.

That's sad

I wonder how he's going to tell his son when he gets bigger, perhaps not the truth...

But have you ever wonder if one day your child shuts his door upon you, your blow will be much greater than others.

A walking stick

2007-02-06T22:08:00.000-08:00

I was wondering sometimes do we ever really cherish our own things? I do sometimes ponder how I devalue the items that I bought by casting them aside once I reach home and only to use it once there's a need for it. It's just like leaving handphones or vaulables lying around that proves to show that we do not cherish our own things.

But my granny taught me likewise...

Her actions made me feel ashame of myself...

She lost her walking stick recently while buying food as offerings for our late grandfather. Lugging bags of groceries and fresh poultry from the wet market and her difficulty in walking, I can come to an understanding of why she lost her walking stick. Not to her carelessness, not to her absent minded state but to the difficulty of carrying everything home herself.

She instructed my uncle to go look for it the following day but to no avail. Not giving up the single least bit of hope, she decided to go striaght there looking for it again. Eventhough she still couldn't find what she was looking for, she has already relish the value of her walking stick.

I feel that she has already got what she was looking for.

pls drive carefully

2007-02-01T12:20:00.000-08:00

Some distractions got into my thoughts just now while I was driving towards my destination

I was on a highway towards the east when couple of cars in front of me started to brake all at the same time

Driving at a relatively high speed with my mind in deep thoughts

I jammed my foot on the brake bringing the car to a sudden stop

While I judged that my e-brake wasn't in time to stop what was going to happen

I started to swerve the car in both directions

Luckily, the cars infront did not come into a complete stop, giving me the extra time and space for my car to move forward

For everytime I e-brake, the shrieking sound that comes from the immdiate friction between the wheels and road scares me

At the sudden moment, I thought of Xu Wei Lun...

A stranger whom made me felt sad by her passing...

Her sudden decease has brought me down into thinking how fragile life could have been sometimes

I agree with many that it's important to cherish family and friends around you

Not living life with regrets but rather living it to the fullest

I remembered I use to feel awarkard when I sms gren and rain, "love ya pal, love ya bud"(influenced by them =)) but I soon got so use to it and when I don't say missya or something, the message seems to be lack of something.

It's important to let your close ones know how you feel for them...

Why don't we start everyday by expressing our love, care and concern to our love ones?

*big wide smile*

1 L of tears

2007-01-24T19:12:00.000-08:00

Everyone feels pain.

But surely after suffering, satisfaction will arrive

even with sports, studying or other ordeals.

With life, it's like that for everyone

If we can beat the pain

On the other side,

A rainbow of happiness awaits us

That will definitely become a treasure

Let's believe in that

...from 1 litre of tears

stammering

2007-01-23T17:37:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I just wonder why do I always have such a weak stand when I clearly know that I have my point to prove

I will just start to stammer as if I have been stopped by a stumbling block and then lost all my views pertaining to that issue

only much later that I start to regain all thoughts on it...

I guess my brain just don't work as fast as others

Or

It maybe due to my lack of sleep and stomach indigestion that has been causing this deviant behaviour

I just realise today that I am lucky to have Mr Golf

The thought of driving to where your heart desire is what I always yearn for

As it always comply to my wishes ...

shifting?

2007-01-18T04:35:00.000-08:00

I nearly became homeless yesterday when some property agent together with a buyer intruded our place. Sad to say that my dad is contemplating on selling our current home and getting a more affordable place to stay. He's only thinking of profit making when we have not even got a new place to stay yet! Everything just happens in a blink of an eye when eventually,all they need is my parents to sign the papers. What makes me furious is that the property agents are so persuasive that they kept calling and wanting to look for my dad. When they couldn't find him, one just stood outside our door and the other waited at the lift lobby.

At that moment, I feel that in today's world everything evolves around money, being blinded by it that one would care less about people around them.

I guess history is gonna repeat itself again where previously I stayed at our old flat alone overnight refusing to barge even an inch. Silly me as I couldn't bear to leave the place where I grew up in, the place where my memories once lived. Hopefully this time round, that doesn't happens.

Anger engulfed in me when I heard that the property agents sent nasty smses to my dad, blaming our actions at our side and commending on how worthy theirs are.I can't imagine that their pleasant and well spoken personality is actually hidden underneath a mask - only to reveal their truth self once exposed. I really don't know the consensus between both of them, but frankly speaking from the way I view they are only after one thing -

I suddenly feel that have put myself so lowly that I have became an evil person by talking behind other people's back.

*sigh*

*roars in dismay*

p.s Happy Birthday dear sis! Hopefully we will stop all the quarreling and squabblings from now on...=)

Think before I speak

2007-01-16T23:28:00.000-08:00

I didn't realise I am blunt and direct with my words till I read bud's blog...though numerous times ls has been saying me about this, I just treated it as him being sacarstic...opps...

I guess it's important to think twice before I speak next time...

*slaps head*

Blank...

2007-01-15T03:41:00.000-08:00

Have got really no idea what to write already...It has been weeks since I have got this problem of nothing comes out of my mind when I got the urge to write. I will usually have the urge to blog when I am depressed or when I am happy or even when I am full of thoughts but all these have not occured for quite awhile.

I have been happily hibernating at home from the cold weather, such cold weather seems like a spell being cast upon me, bringing me into lumberland - imagining myself as a sleeping beauty, hoping to wake up looking prettier with flawless complexion. *snaps* As I try to shake my head vigourously in hope to wiser up my thoughts.

Though 2007 didn't start with a "Bang" for me, year 2006 ended with one...I have received more christmas presents(pics later) than I thought that made me a very happy girl. *grins* Birthday presents have never been more than my xmas presents this time round.

Dear friends have been asking me what I want for my birthday but even if I have 101 things that I want, 1001 things that I need, I will still reply the same:"Thank you but please don't buy anything for me." Though sometimes I always have the urge to say out what I want but I feel that the least I can do is to not say it out...

So I have concluded:

No wish list this year that uses monetary means to get...

Just a wish list that needs my hard work and effort to get...

p.s.Happy Birthday Dear Aunty!!! =) Wishing you good health always...

The Corporate World

2006-12-27T04:19:00.000-08:00

While sipping on to one of my favourite desserts - bai guo yi mi, I turned to the recept desk and got myself the Today's newspaper to read. Though the bai guo yi mi made by aunty wasn't sweet enough for my sweet tooth, I enjoyed every single bit of it that made it my breakfast and also filled my grumbling tummy up.

The one week recept job drained all my strength and energy away, making me look 10 years older with the formal OL look when I already look older than my actual age. Though work can be mundane and not so satisfying, I am still happy to see familiar faces at work. Though many have left the company in venture for greener pasture, their positions has been filled by others. What left me with a puzzled mind is that, when a vp of a dept leaves, the assistant vp of that dept doesn't get promoted when he/she qualifies to be one. Imagine slogging so many years in hope for a better salary and better position but yet your so called "dream position" is to be replaced by brighter young hopefuls from the outside corporate world.

Then what's the point on staying in one's job then when the furture of one's cannot be seen in that company? Then there's no point in showing one's loyalty to the company, no point in working so hard to thrive on with them.

I also realised that the higher positions in the company people seems to be more snobbish, or perhaps being binded down by too much work that makes a smile difficult to be expressed or a simple hello to be taken away. The concerning human nature should not be taken away and most importantly not taken for granted by you.

Perhaps it's just me who feels this way and my opinion of them trying to get outside talents to join the company maybe the reason why this is happening. Sad to say...this is the corporate world outside after all...

Just a nobody who feels this way...

Merry Xmas to all!

2006-12-25T02:09:00.000-08:00

Christmas is a festive for feasting and expressing your love to people around you!
Merry Christmas to all!

Great fun with a Great Friend!

2006-12-19T01:27:00.000-08:00

Despite the gloomy skies, we feast and shopped to our hearts content at the famous Vivocity!

Bad Rash

2006-12-17T04:25:00.000-08:00

I have been scratching away these fews days, sounds awful the way I describe but yes my rashes has spreaded from my ears to my face, to my neck and slowly to the back of my body. I don't know what I am allergic to but most prolly I reckon is due to my recent hair dye that has caused the rash. Feeling the utmost uncomfort now is uncomparable to the cold baths that I am giving myself recently. As I try to get the unbearable itch by doing things that I could concentrate on and distract myself away from scratching it...yet my hands does likewise. Argh!!!

Just as I pour out everything from my chest, it feels just great. But yet after pouring everything out, others come pouring in and causing me to get even more upset. I am still glad that I have got someone to confide to, someone who listens to me and not scold me even if I have done wrong...explaining what I have done wrong and teaching me what's right and wrong...as sometimes human nature flaws really work against one's conscious....

I realise I can't depict what i am writting now as my brain is starting to lack of oxygen that has caused me to yawn more than ever...

Rice Cake!

2006-12-05T22:16:00.000-08:00

After savouring the remains of one of my favourite noodles - yau tau hu during lunch, I turned to my rice kueh and continued to fill my tummy with it. What caught my surprise was the rice kueh actually taste exactly the same as what I had nearly 10 years ago! It was the corner store that I always patronise while walking back home from the bus stop, the same old store that sells the same old tasty rice cakes. I would always buy more that four and secretly munch them at home...haha thinking back, I guess I was overly greedy to buy so many.

Went to meet this buyer today and I was surprise to know that it was a guy.Looking around at the control station trying to look for a lady but was rather shock to learn that the buyer of the dress was actually a guy!Perhaps he was buying for his gf...rather sweet if that was the case..=)

Not long later, i got approached by a lady from the advertising company who asked if I was keen in an interview to do modeling for advertisements...errr...me?I guess she missed out my elephant thighs,butterfly arms and horrible complexion...haha Usually, I wouldn't turn them down but after that I would just refuse to answer their calls as I still find these companies not trustworthy enough plus I have totally no confidence in my terrible outlook .Their criteria for models seems low too...really wonder how are their criteria like...hmmm.....

Saw another minor accident involving a motorcyclist today, sometimes I really don't understand why the drivers are more concern about their car than the well-being of the motorist. Because I have seen both cases where the first thing the driver does is to check their vehicle!OMG!Come on lar...how will that much smaller size motorbike affect your vehicle,even if it does it would be just a scartch!The only right thing to do is to check on the cyclist! Weird drivers we have on the road these days...

Settler's Cafe

2006-11-29T01:40:00.000-08:00

Minds all focused on the "Tickets to Ride" board game...Had another fun day with my friends(most importantly played a very good game with ptl!=) at Settler's...Not going to write the details yet as I am carrying a full-bloated tummy to sleep...I ate too much today that made me had the runs in the night =(
Good Night world!

That smell...

2006-11-28T17:46:00.000-08:00

Just yesterday, I smelt a smoker's breathe which made me speechless for words.I wanted to confront the person and give him/her a trashing in the ear but I couldn't bring myself to do so,my heart ached when I thought of it as a lie, to conceal something that I didn't think was right. I am baffled by what should be done next as I really don't wish for my actions to hurt others.

Seriously, I got nothing against smokers...is like I use to think drinking was bad too but think about it, you just got to control yourself in this area but then smoking is a totally different thing!I really don't wish to see my family or close friends smoking, I feel that it does more harm than good to them...

Sometimes I really don't know what my parents are thinking, it's like it's stated so clearing that they are trying to suck your blood out but you still go ahead with whatever they want. Argh....!!!!! Anyway, I have no say in this eventhough I really wish that I could do somthing about it. I hate the sucky feeling that I am having right now....

Happy Birthday to my friends....

2006-11-26T09:35:00.000-08:00

I didn't realise that going out with a big group of people could be so fun, I didn't forsee the happiness in me till I found myself laughing and smiling so much throughout. It was a great Saturday night excluding the crowds and traffic jams in town, I still enojoyed myself alot.Lovely dinner at The Vil'age with my few favourites that I always order consisting of calamaris,rosti with sausage+egg,pork knuckles and ice-cream custard creps...slurps.....

Lynette and I so called secretly bought a little cake for the birthday girl and boy but we bought it so "openly" that they both knew it long before. We all sang the sweet birthday song before heading to alleybar for some vodka drinks. Ben and I didn't really get to drink the vodka drink because I accompanied him to the nearby BK for a drink of coffee as he was getting all red from the pint of beer at Vil'age just now,his face was so red that nearly made him into Hellboy.So coincidently that we met his family at BK too!

We still made our way to Boat Quay for another round of drinks eventhough most of our friends left for home. We settled down at this pub for a ktv cum soccer entertainment with more beer and nuts, got oursleves each a Asahi beer which I felt was one of the nicest beer that I have ever drank. I got a little tipsy after I got myself losing from the poker cards and dices games so I made way to the toilet but someone barge in while I was trying to freshen myself up. I stared at him but he wouldn't bug, till awhile as if he seems to regain his consciousness that he tried to apologise repeatly.

Later on, the same guy who barge into the toilet treated us another round of drinks,thanks to ls who sang well that made him got attracted to our table.For the first time ever,I drank more than I ever thought I would that night - two bottles, I never drank more than half a bottle before,never thought that a person like me who use to shun alcoholic drinks will drink more than a bottle, I got potential for drinking huh? kidding....

We chatted our hearts out along the steps of boat quay river and took some pictures before heading back home. It was a great night, I really enjoyed the company of my friends =)

Happy Birthday ptl and Jy,hope you both enjoyed yourselves as much as I do that day.
*all smiles*

Granny

2006-11-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

Visited Granny the other day as she has got backache problem, she look so frail and weak that made me feel so much for her.Sighz....Her room was so stuffy that made my dad complain non-stop till he went to all rooms to open the windows for her but his actions got my granny very agitated as she don't like the idea of opening the windows wide as she was afraid of beatles and bugs flying in. My dad stood infront of the window and said:"aiyah,where got bugs?They won't fly in, don't worry.""You scare the bugs away by standing infront of the window of course they won't fly in la.."Granny replied.*errr...* Sometimes I really wonder what the elders are thinking.

Mum helped granny to rub her back while I climb up and down the stairs to help them get whatever they need. I was glad that we visited granny, her smile with a little tooth jutting out was all that we could ask for....I told myself that I will visit her more than I could.

I whipped up a meal for ben on Tuesday, I really think that cooking isn't so easy after all. I use to think that lightsauce was all I need to cook something decent but I finally realise that I was all along wrong.

Little Hut

2006-11-19T22:55:00.000-08:00

Just lugged a few bags of groceries home and bought bedding for hammy plus an additional hut for her to "roll"...actually it is a little house for her to sand bathe inside but the naughty her would rather pee inside...*faint* that little rascal is always up to misfits lol...

So I said to her when I got home:"Hammy you better guai guai ok if not I give away your hut that I have just bought ..."(I tried to say sternly) She looked at me and then glance away, then later to return to continue biting the cage as if she's protesting to get out of it.

Another not-so-good Sunday whereby I bought dinner and groceries myself at Parkway BUT sometimes shopping alone could be so fun whereby I get to get myself little stuffs that just cheers me up for no reason.

Flustered!!!

2006-11-18T02:26:00.000-08:00

I nearly lose my camera today but phew!phew!so glad that it was lying safe and sound on the car seat. I rushed to meet buddy today for dinner but nearly tripped while I was walking towards the car...I dropped my waterbottle and quickly picked it up and rush off.In the mist, i reckon that I may have dropped other things too. Throughout the dinner at crystal jade la mian branch, I was thinking and worrying about where my camera would be ...it made me so anxious! The point of time when I was approaching the car was worst as I had the worst thoughts on my mind, I cannot imagine losing the pictures and the sd card.To me, those pictures worth more than my camera, money cannot buy such memories that i had.I would rather lose my camera than my sd card.

So glad, so glad that little red camera was safe and sound.Sighz a huge relief!

Was also glad that I am able to meet gren buddy today, she always look so pretty!Especially today where she has heavy locks at her shoulders making her look so lady like!hehe She is always getting those stares from guys wherever she goes, I guess it's nothing new to her.Right buddy? hehe

Walked past Karen Millen and Agnes B boutiques today and I really adore the handbags that they have for this season. Totally cool satchels they got over there making me feel like working just to shop. *shakes head*

Reminds me of the Fendi satchels(doesn't look good in pictures though) that's totally unaffordable for me and I am soon beginning to realise that my taste for stuffs is maturing and becoming more lady like - ageing =(

Recently,I have also been quite into skin care and have been trying out different brands of skincare on myself. From Lancome to Vichy to Loreal to Fancl to Skinfood to Clinique to Garnier to Biotherm to H20 to...(many more!)....I couldn't afford to buy all of their range of skincare but I have been trying to ask for samples from some of them. Like if you buy a product(some brands give out samples even if you don't buy), you could ask for samples of other items to see if the product works on you rather than wasting money if the product doesn't suits you. My current favourite skincare product is as below:

Its micro particles unblock pores, smooth out skin irregularities and refine skin texture and can even be used daily! I use this only on my T-zone every other day and the appearance of my blackheads diminish!The stubborn blackheads are still there but it helps lessens the appearance of it leaving a cleansed and smooth out skin! ( I sound marcharm like I am helping to advertise on the product haha)

My mum scolded me just now but i feel that i am not in the wrong. Was it or not? *sighz*

I got a funny dad

2006-11-12T03:11:00.000-08:00

My dad got me very irritated today.Ok, we went to bedok camp hawker there for dinner today so my dad queued for the hokkien noodles while I queued for the cheng tng plus the cuttlefish mix tingy.Both stalls have got extremely long queues so no choice, want to dig into good food, we gotta clear the queue first.After queuing halfway my dad came over and asked me to swop queues with him. I only realise the reason afterwards that cuz his queue was taking abit longer compared to mine.*faints* He even made me agitated when he re-order the cuttlefish mix that I have just ordered...=/

While I was religiously queuing for the hokkien noodles, I saw my dad hopping from stall to stall to order food.From hokkien noodles to cheng tng to cuttlefish mix to popiah to wanton noodles to ginger tea....if you think that was alot...think again cuz he ordered more than that!He 'da bao' all the food we had there home to have his 'second round' ('__'") The best dish I guess was the cheng tng and ginger tea...I guess we never have enough of such good local delights!=)

I came home trying to clear my room,up till now I am still trying to finish clearing.I have only finished a small section and yet the big black rubbish bag has been filled,imagine my room that has always been a storage for rubbish. I have decided to clear each section a day and end up lastly with my wardrobe that has been spilling out since don't know when.Too many clothes?No, no!!...my wardrobe is too small!I need a bigger one!!!lol I felt so much better after clearing a small section of my room, it makes me more cheery and more motivated to continue clearing the rest of it. My weekend isn't so bad after all eventhough it was a - stay home weekend.=)

Was reading ptl's blog while blogging...saw her entry on ls's audition tingy,it was a very motivating entry that she wrote, no wonder ls was touched.hehe I am also abit puzzled why the judges made that decision, I am so curious which contestants made it in...ls has the potential to go through till the finals,he has this very powerful vocals that's very important in singing. I hope that he will not be put down by this and will continue to realise his interest in singing,alright?
All the best!

Gruesome Movie

2006-11-10T15:27:00.000-08:00

I totally regretted watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre, it's totally a gruesome, abominable, appalling, awful, dauting, fearful, frightful, ghastly, grisly, gross, hideous,
horrendous, horrid, horrifying, loathsome, lurid, macabre, monstrous, morbid, offensive, repulsive, shocking, sick, sicko, spine-tingling, terible, terrifying, ugly, weird....movie to watch.It was the first ever show that made me want to walk out of the cinema without second thoughts and it even made me feel like puking.yul...can you imagine the scenes of bloody corpses and human torsi throughout the movie...yul...totally cannot believe that this show was based on a true story. So much for the first r21 movie that I ever watched in the cinema that left me panic-stricken throughout the whole time.

But I felt much better after seeing this picture below, which makes a perfect desktop wallpaper for me too:

poor baby hammy is suffering from 'cloudy eyes' due to old age...sighz...why do hamster have such short life span?It's not fair!!!! =(

Random updates

2006-11-05T21:07:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it can be quite difficult when you try to recall the past and then try to jot every single detail down.Seriously it isn't easy and I finally understood why people keep dairies, to pen down their each and every precious thought and memories that will grow old with them. I am trying hard now to recall each detailed event that happened....gosh...memory failing....'---'

Let's see, I remembered that the last last saturday I went to leehom concert with buddy!!!I guess I was quite harsh on my words that day as I gave buddy 'black face' when she came late for the concert.Sorry buddy....gren kept the tickets as I thought the careless me might lose it but on the actual day I surprisely came early!haha I got quite anxious after half an hour had past and soon I hear fans screaming and leehom singing.I so want to get in there!!!The feeling of wanting to see the start of the concert but not able to is getting me moody...esp when the queues of crowds slowly moves in,leaving me waiting in a foul mood. But I can blame no one but myself....the careless me who didn't have the intention to keep the tickets in the first place should be blamed.

Oh well....but still the concert was great!!!!We got to see talented leehom playing drums,piano,violin and even er hu!!!I love the violin performance the most, guys who plays the violin rocks!

Last monday we went for our ktv session, it was sort of a practise session for ls as he was going for his audition on wednesday.I wasn't in the mood to sing that day partly because I am not so into chinese songs nowadays while the major reason was that I had a tummy upset.I felt so weak as I skipped my meals for the entire day. I tried to get away from the air conditioned room by heading to the toilet very often but matter was made worst when the toilet felt so eerie and filthy
=( Later in the evening when we went to check on the car, we learnt of a man jumping off the tracks at Clementi station.Then we were later discussing that the recent similar incidents maybe caused by the wrong thought of getting donations from the public...

But the incidents have brought me into thinking deeper - not of the fact that the temporary stopage of train service causing inconvenience to thousands of passengers but of how the man could bring himself to leap forward.He must have been through alot to then bring himself to this extreme... I suddenly feel very fortunate as there can be many others out there who are in worst situations than what I am complaining at. The chinese saying is true: zuo ren yao zhi zhu ...

Wednesday was the Talentine's audition,the audition started quite late so I and Ben decided to go out for a movie before heading back to school. After watching the movie 'Death Note' ( a movie that is definitely much better than the trailer) we immediatly headed back to school.What a coincidence that it stared raining heavily...and we were running late, so we decided to buy a set of newspapers to shelter ourselves...sadly, we still missed ls's audition....

Just yesterday,ben and I went to watch a French Musical Spectacular 'Notre Dame de Paris'.Singapore's first french musical spectacular...The musical is faithful to Victor Hugo's original novel "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", unraveling the story of Quasimodo, the bell ringer of the Cathedral of Notre Dame, who is an ugly hunchback but has a beautiful mind, Esmeralda, an attractive gypsy woman, and Frollo, the provost of the cathedral who falls victim to a desire for love. I am very thankful to be able to watch this musical with ben and his aunt and uncle.=) A very nice musical indeed....

I am in a very foul mood now, just quarreled with my sister...her tactless words and frankness has hurted me so much that I feel that it's abit way overbroad.Perhaps I am in the wrong for fluanting over something that I should't, but do you have to bring your fingers pointing towards him?I would rather you put your anger on me for all you want instead.I seriously think this is not the way to put pain on others as what if I do the same thing to you? Don't you think you will flare up too?I got the sudden urge to curse and swear, some things cannot be endured.Please think before you speak next time.

blah blah...

2006-11-01T05:19:00.000-08:00

So much to say yet so little time!!!I shan't sacrifice beauty sleep for blogging haha...Now,I just hope that Gren buddy and her Dave is fine...out of that place!!! Till tomorrow comes where I will allocate ample time for my blog...

Princess Hours

2006-10-22T20:48:00.000-07:00

I got too dwelled into Korean dramas recently, firstly it was the medical doctor show and now princess hours. Feels like I am hibernating at home away from the winter or shall I say away from the nasty haze?Misty skies reminds me of cold weather but yet when I raise my hands - trying to touch onto the 'mist', I was greeted by warm air.Really dampens the mood.

I should even reprimand myself for skipping lectures due to the lack of sleep from watching the dramas in the wee hours.Binging and indulging in my blindless approach to such dramas has cause me thinking to whether it should have been done in the first place. Whatever!!! I simply just can't weigh my piorities correctly.

On a happier note, this korean show has got heartthrob princes that makes visual sight all so pleasant...haha

Fairy tale stories tends to grip tightly onto one's heart...though I know such sweet romantic stories are unrealistic, I still fantasize over it because it never fails to bring a smile on me...=)

Awfully silly look but yet swt! =)

2006-10-10T04:55:00.000-07:00

Got so elated cuz dear Ben bought me a ipod nano+a swt card as a gift for our anniversary!!! *cheery* Contrastingly,though I love the ipod alot, I haven't got to use it yet. A gadget is useless if you don't make use of it. How true. But I am really afraid of downloading illegal music from the net, not that I am afraid of getting caught...just that my previous desktop crashed due to the viruses from all these downloads.*shrugs*

On a lighter note, Happy Birthday Rainy pal!!!Big hugs!!!

Hope you will have a blessed birthday =)

P.S. Please support my friend's blogshop at www.my-sweet-haven.blogspot.com, she's selling tops at very affordable prices!!! Do help spread the word ya....thank you so much in advance!!!=)

Happy Birthday to my boyish Ben!

2006-09-20T04:45:00.000-07:00

Thank you all who has came and made it such a wonderful birthday dinner for Benamin, it was great to have the company and joy that all of you bring!!!Sucha a pleasant dinner!*all smiles*

Bestie Burfday part 2...

2006-09-19T12:06:00.000-07:00

Night was so pleasant but that was not the end of it.A great night has lead to more pleasant moments...eventually after our oh-so-full dinner, we went straight for supper. And suprisingly,my tummy has got room for more.lolx yeah what's new?(suddenly Waikit's cunning face appears in mind) He has always been saying that from don't know since when...haha Oh!Whatever!

Many ex-classmates came for supper, it was a nice gathering. Initially I thought friends whom I have not met for quite sometime, you will kinda feel this distance in between. I felt that when they first arrive at market 85 but not long after we chatted about past school days,how are we doing currently,how are things going for all of us...the gap slowly closes up...I guess it must have been our previous bonding or affinity???

It makes me cherish my friendship with the girls more. Our friendship started similarly like empty canvases, with time and effort and luv, colours are added, textures are applied and ideas are developed. For some, interests fade and it remains unfinished, leaving aside for dust to be collected. For others, enough is never enough, you just keep adding on, pefecting it with every loving tender stroke, just so that it will turn out to be a masterpiece some day, one day. And for everytime that I have added a stroke, it's telling you how much that I cherish our friendship, our bonding. Really hope that our canvase of friendship will always be perfected by each and everyone of us. Even if it doesn't,even if the masterpiece ended up half done, it's enough to bring out life-time amount of happiness and undescribable joy =)

Love you girls!!!!=)

P.S. Still contemplating whether I should take a peek at my MM notes...I realise that I can be such a slothful person. my goodness...=/

Bestie Burfday part 1...

2006-09-16T04:51:00.000-07:00

It's strange how time flies and not even till you grasp enough of what you had, it just goes by. Once again it was my bestie birthday and no matter how busy my schedule is, from now till the end, I will always make it for her birthday celebration unless circumstances disallowed. It was a sweet celebration at Swensen, an in-prompt-to change when New York New York was filled. Tucking in to our yummy main courses while bitching about how guys fail when they go on dates.lol Meiyi girl has just got too many bad experiences but I believe that being through such will lead to more favourable moments for her.The great thing was that Swensen had a complimetary ice-cream for the birthday girl(yin)!=) Saves us on our dessert, making the total cost for the meal much more affordable!Budget!Budget!

Meiyi and Yin!!!!Send me more pictures so I can upload!!!

yawns...feeling sleepy and very reluctant to send dad to the airport AGAIN! -_-"

What's right?

2006-09-13T01:59:00.000-07:00

2 hours of sleep is called Snooze

5 hours of sleep is called Nap

8 hours of sleep is called Sleep

That's my definitions of rest

Isn't it so?

And guess what??! I just got myself a pair of high heels shoes while shopping online(yayaya shopping again!) Wanted to get the black ones but they were all sold out!=(

I have been looking for peep-toe-pumps for quite sometime now and I finally found this!!! It looks so gorgeous to me!!!Wanted to get the sea green ones in Taiwan but they were way over budget while this cost 20bucks! Within budget...*hehex*

I know they are abit way high for high heels...I have all along been avoiding wearing heels. Not that I don't like wearing them but it makes me way too tall!!!!!

*pouts lips*

But it's always a girl's thing to wear heels and I am a girl after all...hmmmm....

Just can't wait for it to arrive!!!!=)

P.S: school has been fun these two days, I love to see the smiles on familiar faces at school =)

Some days just pass like that...

2006-09-09T04:21:00.000-07:00

It's really kinda unexpected how "lovey-dovey" my sis and her dearie aka yang can be. She called me up in the middle of the night just to complain about him throwing her out of the car cuz she stinks. She asked me to give him a thrashing in the ear for being sucha pain in the ass. They started laughing on the phone and all...I can imagine the scene how they playfully push each other and fight "lovingly"...

Give me a break will you? haha

Finally, today she confessed to me that it's hard not to try to be cute or childish infront of boyfriends. She even said that it was a "natural thing"....err....*speechless* (I thought someone said to me not long ago that it's very disgusting to act like that?) my little sis is just too in luv.....

luv...luv...luv...

But I reckon that this will be one of the longest relationship she will be in so far. It's a gut feeling and I hope that it's true =)

You know what? Recently I have been real broke....argh!!!! Hate that feeling...I worked only for 2 weeks for these 3 months holidays due to the Taiwan trip...I had already spent like half of my 2 weeks pay already. I wonder how can I survive on my mere small amount of pocket money when I need to incur huge expenses recently.The leehong concert tickets, many many friends' birthdays,important anniversary and my shoppoholic nature have all resulted in me being cleaned out.

Argh!!!!! *roars in anger*

Anyways, I gotta find a solution to my problem..no point venting my fustration on my blog.

Sis and I finally bought the hp ink cartridges and ear pieces for ourselves today. Those ink cartridges cost a bomb...both black and coloured ones totalled up was 100plus bucks...Luckily we had some vouchors to pay for the stuffs, if not I would't be that willing to spend that amount of money on it.I was wondering that this amount of money is actually enough for us to buy a brand new printer! I searched through the auctions and found out that I can actually get a new hp printer at 50bucks!It's actually much cheaper than the black ink cartridge that we have bought!

On a side note, I got a sudden urge to watch a hilarious movie!

Little Man!!!

It's nice to give yourself a good laugh once in awhile...(:

This is my life...

2006-09-01T01:18:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my mum over at the dinning table last night where I confessed to her about my poor results. My mum didn't scold me, but I really wish she did.Just get something hard to whack against my head, to wake up my idea. But she didn't. It's why she didn't that made me feel that I am sucha a loser.

For all these years in my life, my life in studies...I brought her nothing but poor results,pain and worries. Seeing the grey hair that starts to spread on her forehead, I can't help but feel that I have let her down. As she starts to console me and says that I should try harder...I can't help but feel the pain.

Neither me nor my sister has brought her fascinating results before that she could feel proud of us. Even when others 'glorified' their kids infront of us, she will just smile and praise. Yet, she wasn't able to praise her own kids infront of them.

I have let her down =(

Feeling so down now...

I would like to share a little history or rather secret with all...i guess it may sound quite absurd.

I was a EM1 student during my primary school days...I got into EM1 because my teacher requested for me to be in....please please do not think that EM1 students are geniuses or are all great in their studies. Because I am not.

I am the EM1 student that was last in class

I am the EM1 student that took higher chinese but flanked nearly all my spellings in class...higher chinese was way to difficult for me. I rememeber once I hid a book underneath the table and tried to copy but I still ended up with a big fat zero on my spelling book.

I am the EM1 student that did worst than many many many EM2 students during my PSLE.

I remember running home to cry when many of my friends got into 'famous schools' but yet I ended up in a neighbourhood school.

Do you know why I cried so badly? For all the 6 or 12 choices that was chosen for my sec schools, i didn't even get in to any. I thought too highly of myself. I felt worst when my EM2 friends asked me why I did worst than them.

I was speechless.

Things didn't become that well in secondary school and it was much worst in JC...I hated my JC and my JC life...so many stories to tell but yet speechless for words.

I am so ashame of myself...sighz...

One last chance

To prove myself wrong

I need that faith

......

Waikit Burfday Dinner

2006-08-24T03:47:00.000-07:00

I don't have all the pictures with me so just upload this nice group picture first before I blog on it later =) Had a great dinner with my friends..thanks for the company!

Off day!

2006-08-23T22:58:00.000-07:00

Brought mummy to Chinatown today, she purposely stayed at home today because i was home. I am everyday home, I think this will stay the same till I start school. Went Red Star for tim sum just now, frankly speaking we all don't think that the dim sum was 'that good'...the xo fish beehoon we had yesterday at Holland Drive was much better. haha

I brought mum to the shops that I buy my three quats, I have been getting a few of those there and it's kinda affordable so think my mum will need some too. What made me fustrated was that the aunties there were soooooo unfriendly......it's like once they know that my mum wants to get those quats instead of me, she didn't even bothered to serve us and just wave to us that the shop oppsite has got clothes that we wanted. Yah I know, clothes oppsite was those more for 'aunties' but we just want 3quats lor, they got bigger sizes but just don't want to do our business. Fine. After going to 2 shops that were like that, we went over to the shop that i always go to...though their prices just 2 to 3 bucks higher, i am willing to pay more for better service.

Thanks to my mum, I bought another quats for myself! It's nice going shopping with mum so she can take care of my expeneses. haha. I am evil.

I have been clearing my stuffs lately and I realise the great pile of clothings I have got!I shan't name the number of it as it's quite shocking to hear. Shall keep to myself so I can continue hypnotizing myself to buy more....they never seems to be enough!

*shakes head*

so not my day...

2006-08-21T22:26:00.000-07:00

After two weeks of temp work, I thought I could peacefully sleepy at home today

Often I thought 'beauty sleep' is very important especially for lazy people like me

So much so for my beauty sleep..... or my prince charming in my dreams.....

Before I could even remember what I dreamt of, something loud hit on to my ears

DRILLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can i curse?

It started drilling right above my head at 8+am!!!!!!

Thanks to it, I am having a bad headache now =(

I tried blasting the music but it didn't help...and that little hammy can still yawn and go back to sleep peacefully...

Perhaps she has been immune to the sound =/

Hammy, teach me how to sleep like you can!!!????

bunch of friends...

2006-08-17T23:32:00.000-07:00

I felt kinda awakard after the dinner last night

It made me took a step away and moved me further from this friendship

It's not that I do not cherish this friendship but you made me feel that you have other intentions

These intentions through your actions has bought me thinking about very unhappy stuffs

I am really bliss with what I have now and I never wish to lose it

Perhaps I don't know how to express myself correctly that has misled the people around me

But deep down in me....that beat will not change...

Hope you will understand...

Best Spagetti Ever!

2006-07-18T17:38:00.000-07:00

Great Pasta prepared by the Great Chef!

I enjoyed every mouth of it even till my tummy couldn't be filled much more...

My Island Home

2006-07-18T11:38:00.000-07:00

Went for the Family Day NDP that day, very hot day, haven't sweat so much for so long. Bought the tickets online from Kevin at 10bucks, it was worth it as NDP has left me with very fond memories. Memories of past NDP year 1998 and 2001 being in the choir and cheerleading respectively, love NDP so much that I joined the cheerleading in JC volunteerily. To think about it, I feel that I must be not thinking quite right that time....spending my weekends aways under the scouching hot sun in Kallang, squeezing with all other participants just to get a seat on the ground to munch on our KFC/Pizza Hut meals, staying back after lessons just to practise our steps, changing in toilets that have extremely long queues!...

But I must say that joining the NDP has got fond memories for me too, the excitement of being in this great show, the joy of having fun and working hard together with my friends, extremely beautiful and fascinating fireworks, great performance, knowing that all of us performace with one heart for our nation....all in all... I felt that the hard work was paid off during the actual day itself..=)

Pictures ahead for the wonderful NDP that was presented :

Start of the parade!

The little girl seems to get a little angry because I took her picture ...=) It was very heart warming to see a family infront of us enjoying the parade so much

There weren't high level fireworks that day =( that was the sad part...

A great parade to end the day ...

away...

2006-07-11T11:35:00.000-07:00

Dear friends,

I won't be updating for awhile eventhough i got many pictures and thoughts to share...

I will be busy doing some planning and research... and of course, catching up with my sleep!(as usual lazy, piggy old me)

Take Care! =)

Loves...

head is spinning...

2006-06-22T18:16:00.000-07:00

Prison Break is cool...

I can't imagine that there's actually a twist... or I should say many twists in all episodes

It doesn't have an amazing storyline

Yet

The creator of the story is able to make you anticipate for more...

and more...

highly addictive

just like having a dose of morphine

it's just brilliant

start packing!

2006-06-20T05:11:00.000-07:00

I am determined to clear my sty for now

Need to clear my warerobe with tonnes of clothings and hoping to sell some of them off

Gren says that I have to cherish my stuffs

ok then...

so be it...

I just hope that my determination doesn't fails me

Happy? Father's Day

2006-06-18T13:49:00.000-07:00

A Father's Day without my dad seems to be weird

He seems to be always away for some reason

I don't know what

Eventhough I didn't celebrate dad's day with dad that day, I celebrated with Ben's family

That's something really nice =)

Seems so weird that I communicate better with uncle than my dad

My dad who lives with me for 22 years of my life don't even know how to spell my name properly ...

Sighz..I don't want to continue about this...seems abit rude if I were to continue....

Really feel bad to always impose onto others..always having uncle and aunty to treat me sumptous dinner...Uncle always enlightens me with what he has to say too..=) He tells me about things more than what my dad does...

Dinner at farmart was good!Great company with good food!I even satisfied my cravings for crabs!!!

Worth the trip there...

wonderful day with great friends...

2006-06-17T04:19:00.000-07:00

Was suppose to meet Rain that day at 1pm but I overslept..she gave me a call at 2pm to wake me up but actually she was already at City Hall. She didn't scold me neither did she complain..she told me that she was just very worried about my safety. Thanks pal for being such a understanding friend, nothing beats than having such a nice pal..=)

I arrived City Hall only at 4pm =/ but was greeted with friendly faces of Chinghei,Qihan and Rain =) We headed to Starbucks to have a chat and not soon later we had Soba for dinner at Paragon...I am always very enlightened with what Rain and Qihan always has to say...anything about the world from daily lifes to finiance to health to branded goods(seems to be their keen topic)...*shrugs* not for me as I really wouldn't spend so much on an item but I will be keen to get one once I am fiancially able to.

Yummlicious food!!! Cold/Hot Soba with tasty side dishes!!! Nutritious too!!!
Pictures of us!I look so fat can....argh...whatever...Qihan and Rain look nice can already lol.Someone seems to be missing in the picture...Gren!Where are you? =(

Thought of the day: I really felt blessed to have friends like them, eventhough we don't get to meet up often, once in a while is good enough to gather and have a short chat. Had this nice feeling while on my way home...they brightens up my day.

I am contented....

what goes around comes around

2006-06-16T05:18:00.000-07:00

It's 5+ am in the morning now but I can't get myself into slumber land..sighz..the mental clock in my body has been turned upside down. Just caught the soccer game between Mexico and Angola which I thought of to be quite boring. The Mexicans trying all the way in the second half of the game to strike a goal while the Angolians defencing all the way. Most of the time the cameras were on the Angola's goal keeper..with his swift moves and brilliant anticipation of where the ball will be, he caught onto the oncoming ball most of the time. I don't even know how the Mexican goal keeper looks like as it was quite unlikely to see the ball moving to his side. The game came to a tie which I feel that the Angola owes it to the goalkeeper...

Oh well, I feel like I am reporting on the world cup...eventhough I don't have much interest in soccer, the soccer fever is just too overwhelming that makes me anticipate more for the rest of the games. haha I guess my future blog post will be more on the world cup! *grins*

Visited my granny today, poor granny is having bad gastric problems =( I am glad that i went to visit her after so long. Real happy to see her but the tense relationship with my uncle just spoils the mood..sighz...

My mummy asked me that day if someone gives me extra change will i give back? I said yes as I believe that "what goes around comes around". Perhaps if you ask me few years ago, i will say no due to my moment of greed. I have matured throughout the years but sometimes just feels that I don't mature enough...(contradicting)

I have been slacking throughout these two weeks and do not have the intention to find a job because I am planning on a holiday!!!!Yippy!!!can't wait for it....gotta realise it fast! I will be meeting Rainie pal later, can't wait to see her as it has been so long since I last saw her...(more pic updates later..=) )

Just another random post...

2006-06-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

My little baby piglet! So cute!!!I was trying to take pictures with baby piglet in the car and didn't realise that I attracted many stares from outside....but piglet is just too cute to be neglected! haha * Thanks to dear Ben for this little companion *

Hammy has been acting weird recently, she runs too much(up to 3+hrs continuously)...how I wish I could run like her without panting so badly.
Look at how she puts her legs up to sleep...too adorable...*blur hammy*

* More of Hammy girl!!!!*

I got another summon again today, it's real weird how I always "sense" that I will get caught for not putting enough coupons. It seems to be always right...when I told me sister I wanted to go back to the car, I got summoned at that very minute. I overparked for 15minutes which I thought to be quite unlucky for me....(serves me right)

Got to wake up early for ECR1 tomorrow but I am still contemplating between ESAP and IM... should I go with my interest or should I go according to scope of my degree?

I wonder....

Baby piglet...

2006-06-12T00:49:00.000-07:00

Tonight I shall hug little baby piglet to sleep...

I shall update my thoughts tomorrow then!

Night peeps!!!

*smiles*

keeping up...

2006-06-08T01:01:00.000-07:00

I am strongly addicted to online shopping nowadays

It has become part and parcel of my daily life now

Strangely, it made me not want to go out and shop eventhough GSS is on now

Weird

The power of technology is overwhleming

I need to quicken my own pace to keep up with it

Tomorrow would be swim, jog, clear sty,movies and more shopping for me!

*excited...grins*

Shitty Feeling

2006-06-02T11:30:00.000-07:00

I had my worst paper today...

so much so that of all the 10 questions available, I only know how to do one. Trying to laugh it off now, I don't even know whether that question was done correctly...

I am having such a shitty feeling right now...

Thinking back about it, I wasted my 3 hours looking through questions that I knew nuts about.

There was only one or two "doable" questions BUT these "hopeful" questions was asked in a different way just to confuse us...

I have regreted taking managerial economics...

being taken down by spilled milk...

on the contrary - I am trying to stand up and run my last lap

wish me luck!

a little note for you...

2006-05-28T16:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Dad,

Despite all the clashes in opinions and squabblings that we had...

We still love you...

Happy Birthday...

Love,

I am a BIG BABY!

2006-05-26T14:20:00.000-07:00

Aunty Fhely fed me with my cough mixture last night...

She said: ahhhh.....! very sweet, strawberry flavour you know...

Me: Aunty!you think I am still a baby?

Can't believe that she tried to coax me into taking my cough mixture...I guess I never grow up...

my dear friend told me this today: even if one door closes for you, there will be another door that will open up for you

I just hope that the 2nd door will not be slammed against my face

*I must be optimistic*

p.s. revision has been bad =( but I must make use of the remaining little time to do my best...

Has life been back to normal?

2006-05-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

I dropped the bowl of meat stew today...

I stood there in daze looking at the broken glass pieces

The glass pieces shook me awake when one caught onto my toe...

Ouch!

I took nearly an hour plus to get the place cleaned up and I realised that I was so bad in household work when I pricked my fingers with the little glass bits...

Is the dropping of the glass bowl a sign? A sign that something bad will fall upon me?

I hope not as recent events has got me very very upset...

I can't take another trauma.

Recent happenings has got me thinking about what will happen in future...

As what I want may not be what it is supposed to be in future...

The truth of reality hurts =(

p.s. I really feel that cooking for your love ones is so blissful...I am trying to get some secret recipes from mum and learn to whip up a decent meal =)

......

2006-05-22T02:07:00.000-07:00

Dear blog....

I...................

......................

.......................

am sad.............

=(

why do you have to put me through this?

Rgds,
Jasmine